Krusty takes parenting lessons from Homer when, during an outdoor book fair, a girl tells Krusty that she is his long-lost daughter from a one-night stand with a female soldier…

When Chris is supposed to be hazed for a school tradition, he runs off to South America; Peter quickly becomes frustrated by his new job at the beer factory.

Meg exposes her family on a talk show.

Peter talks himself into getting liposuction and other plastic surgery.